The youth messages weighed more – a lot more – in my young adult world and left my naïve childlike heart dangling high on the teeter-totter. It’s very hard to describe the teeter-totter emotions of what my own belief about me wanted to be, and what I had bought as truth through the messages of my youth. But, I needed to navigate the magma of half-truths, lies, betrayals, the losses through to fresh air, to a life above ground. Here is where I credit the “You are” part. There are the obvious issues, physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual abuses but I was truly at war with me. Rage roiled subterranean until a fissure (migraine) released a bit of it. And my migraines as a teenager and young adult was my heart’s way of signaling the need for change. Traumas seen and heard didn’t really happen, we were told, so I locked them up – or so I thought. I would never be beautiful my smile would get me into trouble. But I figured, they’re the adults, they’re my parents, wouldn’t they know me best? I was the ugly duckling. You see, I wanted to believe that still small voice buried under an avalanche of trauma that said “You are.” Me at the core. This embarrassment was temporary, but were you to gently pull away a piece of duct tape, a pulsing bruised heart would have looked at you with wide terrified eyes, certain you would see her for the fraud she was who looked happy, acted happy and bled tears when alone who froze if someone surprised her who trusted no one’s emotion including her own who didn’t recognize danger when it walked toward her who was ashamed to admit how much she longed for a good mommy and daddy who would love her for who she was who accepted the negative messages of her childhood about herself but presented herself confidently to the world. I could have crawled under a nickel and given you four cents change when she informed us she was pretty excited about all the money she was making as a prostitute. Do I have a sister? How about four? Feeling pretty pleased to be asked out by this fellow, a junior, and for a recommendation for his cousin, I contacted my adopted twin.
His cousin wanted to double date, so he asked if I had a sister.
My freshman year of college I was asked out by a professor’s son. Only, my wounded heart was held together with metaphoric duct tape.Įven while you’re still young, the past and its dysfunctions can come back to bite you. If you had looked at me back then, all outward appearances would have been quite fine: Youthful, vivacious, high visibility on campus with music and drama, excellent student, athletic, and a pilot.
I wear every battle scar with pride for having lived through the dark, dark places of my youth and young adult life. I love that too.Īnd yet: The journey from there to here was a harrowing one. Nearly two decades later we’re still adventuring together. If that isn’t an adventure, I don’t know what is! I met a man later in life, threw caution to the winds, and moved to his city knowing only him. I’m fascinated by new countries, new cultures, different languages. Exquisite was learning to fly, for my whole world opened up. I loved swinging onto my horse Mengustu’s back and trying a new trail. I adored our mule train explorations in Africa.
Long road to mercy series#
Long Road to Mercy is the first novel in the Atlee Pine series by bestselling author David Baldacci.I’m an adventurer at heart, a trait I inherited from my dad. It seems that Atlee will now have to confront a new monster. She knows about killers and perhaps understands them better than any profiler in the FBI, but it soon becomes clear that she will need to put her skills to the ultimate test in this investigation. Now, Atlee is called in to investigate a case in the Grand Canyon when a mule is found dead with strange carvings on its body, and its rider missing.
She will always ask herself, ‘Why her, and not me?’. Tor still resides in a high-security prison in Colorado.Īssigned to the remote wilds of the western United States, Atlee has never stopped the search for her sister, and, wracked with survivor’s guilt, she has spent her life hunting down those who hurt others.
Long road to mercy serial#
Notorious serial killer Daniel James Tor, was caught and convicted of other murders, and while there’s no proof, Atlee believes he knows what happened to Mercy. It is thirty years since FBI special agent Atlee Pine’s twin sister, Mercy, was taken from the room they shared as young children. Long Road to Mercy is the heart-pounding first novel in the FBI Special Agent Atlee Pine series by bestselling author David Baldacci.
0 kommentar(er)
